Is Having Your Parents Take Care of Your Kids Worth the Savings?

The Squeeze

• Parents spend an average of about $9,000 per child per year on childcare. Arranging childcare with a family member like Grandma or Grandpa could save your family a ton of money.
• Full-time childcare is a big task for grandparents to take on, so be prepared for candid conversations about their health, knowledge and skills to keep both them and your children healthy and safe.
• You might not be able to avoid all the costs of childcare by enlisting grandparents. Still, you could negotiate a reduced payment or barter for childcare in exchange for helping out with household maintenance and other tasks.

Every day with Grandma and Grandpa? The prospect is tempting, both for children who love spending time with their grandparents and for parents feeling the pinch of childcare costs.

Parents who pay for childcare report spending an average cost of $750 per child per month, according to Bankrate's Summer Childcare Survey.

At that rate, turning the kids over to your parents while you’re at work could mean saving $9,000 a year per child if your kids are in daycare full time. If your parents are game, it’s a hard prospect to ignore.

But is the savings worth it for your family?

Sure, it could help your kids have a closer connection with their grandparents and help you strengthen ties with your parents. But it could also go the opposite way. 

Depending on your relationship with your parents, their health, your child’s needs and tons of other minor factors, enlisting grandparents for full-time childcare can place a strain on relationships in your family.

Test the waters with occasional babysitting to see how it goes, and be prepared to have candid conversations with your parents before transitioning your kids to full-time grandparent childcare.

What to consider before enlisting grandparents for childcare

Before jumping at the opportunity to forgo daycare costs, talk through these potential issues with your parents to land on an arrangement that works well for everyone.

Offer appropriate compensation

Family members don’t typically expect to be paid for occasional babysitting — they enjoy the time with the kids. You can probably enjoy a date night without paying your parents for childcare.

But if they’re going to watch the kids full time or even a few regular days during the workweek, talk with them about fair compensation.

You might pay them a fraction of what you’d pay daycare, or you might not compensate them monetarily at all. Instead, you might show your appreciation by exchanging in-kind services, like home or car maintenance, shopping or hiring a house cleaning service.

If your parents will watch the kids at their house, also talk about covering costs. You can send along things like toys, food, diapers, art supplies and a crib to keep childcare from actually costing your parents money.

Address different parenting approaches

Chances are you’ve learned a few things about raising kids that are different from the way your parents raised you.

How do your parents interact with your kids during family and social events? Is there anything about their approach that you want to avoid subjecting your kids to on the regular? Don’t shy away from setting guidelines about the important stuff before putting your kids in their charge.

This doesn’t have to mean showing up with a checklist or a book on parenting for your parents. You can respect what works about their approach, just as you would any daycare provider. 

But stay aware of any behaviors that could be hurtful or harmful to your kid, especially things related to safety lessons we’ve learned in recent decades, like using car seats and placing infants on their backs to sleep. And make sure you’re aligned with your parents on what kind of punishments or incentives are acceptable if kids misbehave.

Treat the arrangement professionally

Whether you pay your parents formally or not, know that they are providing a service. As such, they will now have to plan their schedules around childcare for your family, so respect their time and service just as you would a professional child care provider.

That means dropping off and picking up kids at agreed-upon times, planning babysitting times well in advance, mutually agreeing on any changes to the schedule, and allowing space for them to say no and to ask for days off.

Treating the arrangement professionally can also mean having regular check-ins to talk about how care is going, get any information you need from them, and answer any questions that have come up about your child.

Establish a Routine

Grandparents are famous for doting on their grandchildren. It’s one of our favorite things about them.

This can be fine during occasional visits or babysitting — maybe bedtime gets pushed back, screen time gets extended, and sugar intake is through the roof. But that may not be how you want your kids to spend their days if your parents are watching them full time.

Don’t assume childcare with your parents will be total chaos — they likely understand the difference between occasional visits and daily care as well as you do. After all, they taught you at least some of what you know about living life!

But you can talk with them about what the kids’ days look like and work together to establish healthy routines around things like food, activities, education, entertainment and naps. 

Discuss health and safety

If they’ll watch the kids at their house, make plans to secure the home based on your kids’ ages and needs.

Do they need a gate by the staircase or child locks on the cabinets? Do they want to dedicate only certain rooms to the kids and leave others off-limits to protect furniture and fragile objects? Do they typically store prescription medications in easy-to-reach places like kitchen or bathroom counters?

Also, consider your parents’ physical health and limitations.

Maybe they don’t have the energy to babysit five days a week but could regularly do Tuesdays and Thursdays. Perhaps they’re not comfortable being in charge of a toddler but could watch your older kids, so you only have to pay for the younger one’s daycare.

Consider special needs

No matter how much anyone in your family loves your children, they may not be naturally equipped to provide the care your child needs. That could be true if your child has physical or developmental disabilities, mental health concerns or LGBTQ+ identity. 

You might be able to address any gaps in your parents’ knowledge and skills simply through honest conversations about your child’s needs, or you might need to work with them to get special training.

But in the end, if you come to realize that your parents aren’t the best candidates to care for your children, then it’s time to look elsewhere for support. In that case, you might be able to get assistance to cover childcare costs through government programs like Supplemental Security Income and tax credits, as well as private grants for families.